Polkadots and color.

Shirt: Marshall's, Belt: Loft, Shorts: Guess, Earrings: Delia's.

A couple of moments.

Dress: Loft, Shoes: Aldo, Belt: Loft, Earrings: Chinese Laundry

I live for waking up. The millisecond before opening my eyes where my life is just a spectacle of all I want it to be. Wrapped up in blankets, in a cocoon of daydream. Not at the finish line but right at the beginning.

Sometime during my day I’ll get to dance. Maybe I just cranked up Pandora while I’m walking to work and just heard the beats to ” Che Che Cole” by Hector Lavoe, or maybe I’m all by myself in an empty apartment and ” A thousand years” by Christina Perri is starting to play. At that moment I’ll pretend I ever was a ballet dancer. Sometimes I hope I would’ve been. I live for that moment of pretense. I live for the body made poetic.

After that, who knows? Maybe I’ll get the chance to grin hugely at someone. I don’t mean just smiling, I mean grinning. I mean sharing a moment of profound happiness with another. A thing we shared in common, compliment, a funny remark, a word of encouragement, a sigh, a look, a breath.

I dream about the moment I get to absorb myself in another good book. There’s something so relaxing about loosing myself in a story that is not my own, for better or for worse. Maybe it’s because I get to feel like I can be in two places at once for sometime. Maybe it’s just because I’m a dreamer.

I live for familiarity. For the moments that, unlike so many others, don’t surprise me. I live for coming home to the smell of a fresh meal, for my mother’s warm embrace and the smell of her pillowcase. My father’s funny remarks, me and my brother’s exchange of the same words, and old, old friendships. Memories. I live for creating those.

I realize there’s nothing so wrong with the world with a caress. A couple of fingers winding their way around my hair tells me there’s nothing that can’t be fixed, there are no problems that can’t be erased. Because sometimes they are thing that matter more and we overlook them. A caress matters more than a hurt, all the time.

I live for tucking myself on bed again and closing my eyes. But mostly, for the moment I get to whisper “thank you” to the man upstairs. For my good deeds, and if I don’t deserve that, for my desire to be good. For waking up, for the ability to move, for smiles and happy moments, for family, for details and caresses, and for letting me do it all over again.

Photoshoot failure with cousin!

Shirt: Delias, Skirt: Gap, Shoes: Aldo, Necklace: Delias, Earrings: Chinese Laundry

The instruments and the guidelines.

I just had one of those epiphany moments when walking across campus. You know? When you are talking to yourself when walking alone, and then you realize something important...something you had overlooked. Alrighty, so if you really want me to say what I was talking to myself about...I was thinking about how many times we don't consider ourselves beautiful. We don't think we deserve anything, we don't see our own worth. I mean...sometimes. Because there are those other times when we couldn't feel more ready to eat the world! But come on, there are other times when we don't feel capable of something great.

But then I thought about how there's so many possibilities, and opportunities that pass infront of your face every single day. And many time we don't even notice them because we are so consumed on our present "troubles" and worries. And then I thought...we can make anything happen for ourselves!

Unless making that "something great" happen for yourselves involves losing some of your values, and your morale, you should go out and do it. We don't have why to settle for anything we don't think we deserve in this world. God gave you the intruments...two hands, two legs, two eyes, and one smart brain. And he also gave the guidelines, he told you what is acceptable to do with your instruments. Now go out there and do it. Make it happen for yourself.

Modeling.Really? Modeling?!

Dress: Delias, Tights: Delias, Shoes: Aldo

Nope. Never. Again. Bahhhhhh who am I kidding? I loved it! 

You know, I've always been that girl who couldn't give you that "vogue" look to save her life. Nope. Never been good at it! However, I adore taking pictures! Does that make sense? I can give you cute pictures, nothing more, nothing less. 

So, in light of that, I have a friend who is studying Art and Design, and she needed models for a photography project she's working on. Enter Mellanie. Wahoooooo! Shall I say she won the lottery with me? I think she did! Oh, screw those vogue pictures, I'm destined to be on the cover of children magazines. Haha. You know what I mean !... I hope? :)

Thankful for a life.

Thankful for growing up knowing everything about Harry Potter. (mugglenet.com)
Thankful for those sunshine summer days acting out plays and playing in the garage with Andrea.
Thankful for not being afraid to dance.
Thankful for having my mother be my mother, and her endless streams of support,phone calls, and love that still get me through my days.
Thankful for knowing how to swim, and for loving the water.
Thankful for Angelica who taught me how to dive, and who didn't yell at me when I didn't want her to watch.
Thankful for John Mayer's rendition of "Free Fallin' " .
Thankful for my cousin Tiffany's gluttony that makes me cry of laughter all the time.
Thankful for my friend Angel who, along with Luly, taught me how to drive, with disregards to all those times we almost crashed.
Thankful for my grandparents, who don't provide a better brand of unconditional love.
Thankful of those endless nights we spent talking about the philosophy of life, and our hopes and dreams for the future by your pool, Rebecca.
Thankful for having two legs.
Thankful for having been a volleyball player, thankful for every road trip we took to play.
Thankful for loving poetry, thankful that I can write it.
Thankful for the little dances we made for our mothers when mine came to pick me up, so that I didn't leave, Andrea.
Thankful for that scrapbook you made for us, Bianca, which I had no right to call mine, but I still keep.
Thankful for health.
Thankful for dad, for believing in me and providing for me unconditionally.
Thankful for tears of happiness.
Thankful for inspiration.
Thankful for every day we spent getting ready for a party, Angelica.
Thankful for every boy trouble, Andrea.
Thankful for keeping each other's feet on the ground.
Thankful for my love of smelling books, everything.
Thankful for the movie theater and those movie marathon days with you, Angelica.
Thankful for having you be my crush throughout high school, Jose. Sorry it didn't work out. Lol.
Thankful for knowing you, Cristina, the best teacher I've ever had.
Thankful for sunny mornings in San Juan.
Thankful for the endless sleepovers when we were 15, Jennifer, Angelica, and the boy talks along with it.
Thankful for that Vega Baja beach house, Angelica, Bianca, Mark, Rebecca, Yashaira, Michael, Adriel, Andrea, etc.
Thankful for that Noche de San Juan party you threw when we were 15, Jennifer, when we were meeting the Buchanan guys.
Thankful for my brother, Bryan, for playing Rockband with me.
Thankful for loving to read, and for having two eyes that allow me to.
Thankful for having you be my dance partner in every party, and every choreography, Edwin.
Thankful for Venus, for being my companion and allowing me to group up next to her. Rest in peace.
Thankful for every new day to start again.
Thankful for choosing Iowa State.
Thankful for all the problems we had with Mr. Balloveras, Patricia. Thankful for being disrespectul, I guess. Lol.
Thankful for speaking two languages.
Thankful for those three weeks of heaven in Europe, guys. Bea, Cristina, Nicole, etc..
Thankful for having had a beautiful prom night.
Thankful for having you be everything I looked forward to in the summer, Angelo.
Thankful for my bed, and sleep.
Thankful for our Mike and Charlie's outings, Angelica.
Thankful for all our ocurrences, Andrea.
Thankful for our Adele and "can't shut up night", Bianca.
Thankful for all the times we hit the mall after school, Angelica.
Thankful for every smile thrown at me from elderly people.
Thankful for Cyride.
Thankful for the many times we visisted Brava.
Thankful for Nicole Amaro's sweet 15, plus all the dance practices we had.
Thankful for all our road trips and internal tourism we made the summer of 2009, Angelica and Luly.
Thankful for all those nights we spent watching Friends, Giselle.
Thankful for Hershey's Kisses.
Thankful that we decided to dress as the Pussy Cat Dolls for Halloween one time, Patricia, Angelica, Andrea.
Thank you, pumpkin, for being my favorite thing in the fall.
Thankful for controlling my nail biting habits.
Thankful for every plane ride, every car, every "going home".
Thankful for ALL the laughs, Patricia, and that chemistry classroom where we became best friends.
Thankful that my mom can sew, and made me my two prom dresses.
Thanful for my roof and all the conversations that went down there.
Thankful for flowers, my favorite thing.
Thankful for dELiA's, for letting me be obsessed with you for about 3 years.
Thankful for that Bernarda Alba play, Adriel, Angelica, Patricia, Andrea, Rebecca, Yashaira,etc.
Thankful for Akiro, for being the best cat in town.
Thankful for my neighbors, and all those lazy sundays I spent with them and Venus.
Thankful for all the scary movies and reality shows with you, dad.
Thankful for you letting me ramble on and now I can't shut up.
Thanful for God not considering me too incompetent to own this body.
Thankful of being worthy to be born to this.
Thankful for a life.